Reviving My Creative Muse

A letter to myself about recovery from creative burnout

Dear Elle

It’s okay to feel burnt out. It’s okay to stop berating yourself for your perceived inaction. It’s okay to stop worrying about your unfinished projects. It’s okay to just stop.

You’re not just a photographer; you’re a mother, a daughter, an aunt, a friend, an employee. These roles demand quality time and attention to keep them in peak condition and let’s face it, your execution has been somewhat sub par for some time now. Please don’t get upset! This is definitely not a criticism, it’s an observation. The past ten years have seen great upheaval and change in your life: some good (leaving that job; getting your degree and making friends with E as a result); some bad (taking that other job, you know the one. That was a Bad Decision; A’s situation), and some downright ugly. The physical and emotional demands of co-caring for an aging, ailing mother and watching her continual decline for more than a decade have left their mark. It’s understandable that creating anything has been at the bottom of your list of priorities as a result. You asked how you can justify a leisurely stroll through the woods with your camera when your mother doesn’t even know who she is, fighting sepsis in a closed hospital ward. Or having to learn to walk again. I get it, I do, but let me ask you this: isn’t a walk amongst nature, with or without camera, the best thing you can do in times like this? Fresh air and trees and birdsong are a wonderful salve to a frayed psyche. You know this. I know you know this.

To reset, start by acknowledging your exhaustion; it's the first step towards healing. Then try stepping away from the camera. Allow yourself to experience a lens-less life for a while. Go for walks, visit galleries, go to the cinema, read books. I know your to-be-read pile is getting out of control. Wouldn’t it be great to finish them and share them with a friend? When you’re ready, reconnect with the roots of your passion. Revisit the early days of your photography journey. Do you remember the joy and excitement you felt when you first started? There was no expectation beyond learning what the buttons and dials on your beloved D3200 (aka Clive) did. Reigniting that initial spark will help you find new inspiration.

Prioritise your self care. Look, I know your chronic insomnia is a bitch and you’ve managed it to a point where it’s as good as it’s going to be, but there’s other things you can do. Re-start yoga, you love that. Maybe eat a little better. Continue with the meditation. You can do that, can’t you?

Next, take those negative thoughts and bin them. Imposter syndrome? Bin. Perfectionism? Bin. Comparisons to other artists? Bin. Wait: that one should be set on fire and then the ashes chucked in the bin and the bin shot into space.

Lastly, be kind to yourself. Burnout, creative or otherwise, doesn't mean you're any less talented or dedicated. It's a sign that you're simply a woman with many responsibilities and a situation that weighs heavily on you. In order to be a better mother, daughter, aunt, friend and artist, you need to refill your cup. Embrace this period of rest and renewal. When you're ready, you'll return to your craft with a refreshed perspective and a revitalised spirit.

Yours, with deep compassion

Elle